Flashback Friday

This is Jeanette Sizemore.  Everyone called her Jan.  I called her Sizeless. We met when I was a graduate student in Denver and it was a rather unlikely pairing.  She was quite proper, perhaps more uninitiated in more base subjects, and also quite shocked when I'd do or say something of a "untoward nature".  The school was aligned with a seminary, Iliff School of Theology, so we had some good old go-rounds about all that stuff.  Having just graduated with a degree in Philosophy I'm sure her conservative religiosity didn't always meld together with my thoughts on the subject.  She firmly believed, like many, that accepting Christ as your savior is your ticket to heaven while I thought it was a convenient trump card in order to do whatever you want here on earth.  I told her she was full of it, and she said I was going to Hell.  

But this isn't about our particular beliefs one way or the other.  It is about a friend who helped me succeed so far from home.  It is about opposites who find a way to enjoy each other and have some fun in the midst of pretty grueling academic challenges.  It is about discovering that difference can be a magnet and that to truly expand a horizon is to engage, listen and embrace.  It is about two people who created an oasis of fun and awakening in a big city far from home.  She was from Cockeysville, Maryland,  and I still recall it being Sandringham Road.    

It is also about losing a friend.  

There have been far too many times when I failed to take pictures of the things I was doing at certain periods of my life.  It is a regret but it only means the ones I do have are that much more valuable.  Jan and I were in different classes.  I had a roomie and she didn't so  I spent a lot of time at her place when classes weren't scheduled or we had days off.    

We often took to the road to explore Colorado.  We went to Evergreen, Pike's Peak, Cheyenne,Wyoming, Colorado Springs, and Estes Park.  One of our favorite pastimes was to head over to Stapleton International Airport and watch the planes land or take off.  That was when you could drive right next to a runway on a dirt road and sit for a couple hours.  

Denver was pretty imposing to this small-town kid but she did a pretty good job of making Denver and the surrounding area seem manageable.  Once in a while we'd take a buddy of mine, Eddie Valverde and his girlfriend, and we'd try Mexican or just hang out. 

Sometimes we went by map, but more often we'd just go.  If a road looked interesting we'd take it.  The above picture was one such place.  Snowbound roads while wearing shorts, the oddity of warm weather and wandering in the snow was pretty unique.  But Colorado was, and is still, a pretty unique state.  

One time, and I have relayed this on this blog before, we grabbed some champagne, sandwiches and cheese and took off for a quiet secluded spot.  There we found a creek meandering and we put the champagne in it to chill while we spread a blanket and enjoyed a lunch that remains in my memory still.     

But in town, Washington Park was our spot.  A gloriously green place in the middle of town and just 5 minutes from school, it was the place of leisurely walks, a place of quiet away from the hassles and drudgery of classes.  

Jan was a great conversationalist; unafraid of her opinions.  She also didn't shy away from letting me have it about mine.  But she did it so gently.  There are people you meet with easy laughs.  They make you feel like they are really really listening.  They make you feel like you are genuinely funny.  They make you feel smarter than you really are.  Jan had one off he easiaet laughs I've ever been around - full of joy.

After graduation she went back to Maryland, and I went back to Illinois.   We called each other occasionally, but then I went and got married and she decided to drift away into a memory; she couldn't intrude on that and couldn't find a way to be "just a friend."     

Old guys are sometimes, pathetically, given to ruminating and regret.  Are you happy, Jan?  Did you live as you wanted?  Did you ever have another lunch like we did in the pasture, in the mountains west of Denver?  Did you ever stop laughing when the sales lady approached us from behind as we hunched down at the glass counter, and she said, "May I help you ladies?"  Did you ever find another Washington Park with someone you were comfortable with?  And, yes, Jan, I remember.  I remember.