Take Out the Trash Day

Murphy's Law And Others “If there’s no alternative, there’s no problem.” James Burnham “Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion.” C. Northcote Parkinson “Don’t worry about your enemies; it’s your allies who will do you in.” James Abourezk “A rumor will travel fastest to the place where it will cause the most harm.” Gustavo N. Agrait “Don’t readily ascribe to malice what can be more easily ascribed to incompetence.” James Akre “Troublesome correspondence that is postponed long enough will eventually become irrelevant.” Mark Albrecht “Help a man who is in trouble and that man will remember you when he is in trouble again.” Paul Alexander “Favors granted always become defined as rights.” Saul Alinsky “The strength of one’s opinion on any matter in controversy is inversely proportional to the amount of knowledge that the person has on that subject.” Patrick J. Allen “A parent will always worry about the wrong child.” Don Alt “You can’t believe anyone but yourself, and don’t trust yourself too completely.” Jim Amis “Those whose approval you seek the most give you the least.” Rozanne Weissman “Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it.” Russell Baker “The world is divided between victims and predators, and you have to defend yourself against both.” Florenz Baron “When someone is kicking your ass, at least you know that you are out in front.” Donald Bartel “When you’re up to your nose in sh*t, keep your mouth shut.” Movie character Jack Beauregard, played by Henry Fonda “1) Blessed is he who has reached the point of no return and knows it, for he shall enjoy living. 2) Blessed is he who expects no gratitude, for he shall not be disappointed.” W.C. Bennett “One begins to lose interest in any given task and slacks off just as one is beginning to get somewhere in accomplishing the task.” Richard Bernstein “There are only two kinds of people who fail: those who listen to nobody . . . and those who listen to everybody.” Thomas Beshere, Jr. “As a grown man you should know better than to go around advising people.” Bertolt Brecht “At some point in the life cycle of virtually every organization, its ability to succeed in spite of itself runs out.” Richard H. Brien “Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance.” Sam Brown “1) People always find time to do the things they want to do. 2) People always find the money to get the things they want to get.” Vincent Budri “If you’ve been in the game thirty minutes and you don’t know who the patsy is, you’re the patsy.” Warren Buffett “Find out what you don’t do well, then don’t do it.” Myles Callum “A sinner can reform, but stupid is forever.” Lt. Col. William P. Campbell “The pessimist thinks the old days were better; the optimist thinks things will get better. Both are wrong.” Don Caron “Improving something is admirable, but inevitably five times zero is still zero.” Dean Travis Clarke “Assumption and presumption are the parents of all foul-ups.” E. Staley Clements, Jr. “Each problem solved introduces new unsolved problems.” Found at the U.S. Department of Labor “Some folks say the squeaky wheel gets the grease, but others point out that it is the first one to be replaced.” Harold Coffin “Businesses exert the tightest controls over the easiest thing to control, rather than the most critical.” Kenneth B.Collins “Just because the industry leader does it that way doesn’t mean it’s the best way of doing it.” Ernest F. Cooke “Morality moves down the corporate ladder, but seldom up.” Rae Andre and Peter Ward “When a person says ‘I’m as good as you are!’ it means that he thinks he’s better.” Jerry Cowan “For every simple solution there are a number of complex problems.” Lloyd Craine “Every advantage has a corresponding disadvantage.” Charlie Czusak “If you have to take it or leave it, leave it.” Mike O’Neill “The fury engendered by the misspelling of a name in a column is in direct ratio to the obscurity of the mentionee.” Alan Deitz “To beat the bureaucracy, make your problem their problem.” Marshall L. Smith “When you are on the bottom you can’t afford to look like you belong there.” Mike Downey “If they say they love you, trust their behavior. If they say they don’t love you, trust their words.” Dr. John H. Dickey “One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say.” Will Durant “Anyone nit-picking enough to write a letter of correction to an editor doubtless deserves the error that provoked it.” Alvin Toffler “That which we call sin in others is experiment for us.” Ralph Waldo Emerson “Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.” Susan Ertz “Long-range planning works best in the short-term.” Doug Evelyn “Don’t ask the barber whether you need a haircut.” Daniel S. Greenberg “Regardless of how good we are in bed, our relationship is entirely dependent on how good we are out of bed.” John E. Eyberg “You may never reach a solution, but you’re never absolved from the responsibility of trying.” Millicent Fenwick “The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.” K.C. Flory “There is no exception to the rule that everybody likes to be an exception to the rule.” Malcolm Forbes “Nobody ever got rich under-tipping waiters and stiffing cab drivers.” Fred Friendly “By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be a boss and work twelve hours a day.” Robert Frost “The society which scorns excellence in plumbing because plumbing is a humble activity and tolerates shoddiness in philosophy because it is an exalted activity will have neither good plumbing nor good philosophy. Neither its pipes nor its theories will hold water.” John W. Gardner “The worse the society, the more law there will be. In Hell, there will be nothing but law, and due process will be meticulously observed.” Grant Gilmore “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no use making a fool of yourself.” W.C. Fields “When a kick in the ass doesn’t work, create envy.” Rev. Frederick G. Gotwald “You want it bad, you'll get it bad.” Richard C. Savage “There is an inverse relationship between front-page media coverage and getting things done.” Bill Harris “No one asked you to write. And no one will care if you stop. If you succeed, no one will notice. It’s a rough, heartless business.” George Higgins “People will take tough decisions only when not taking them is tougher.” Walter Hoadley “It is impossible to overestimate the unimportance of practically everything.” Clark Holloway “If you can’t tie good knots, tie plenty of them.” From a Dewar’s scotch ad “When a person with experience meets the person with money, the person with the experience will get the money. And the person with the money will get the experience.” Leonard Lauder “Whatever you may be sure of, be sure of this: that you are dreadfully like other people.” James Russell Lowell “If the only tool you have is a hammer, you treat everything like a nail.” Abraham Maslow “'Be yourself!' is about the worst advice you can give some people.” Tom Masson From article "Wry Way of Looking at the Universe"