1. After doing some research on why ethnic kids wear pants too big so they have to clutch them as they walk, I discovered where it started and that maybe if you are one of these guys you may want to think of something else. It started in the prison system in California, and was a sign that you were available.
Oh, and I see a kid in Texas was arrested and thrown off a plane because he wore his pants in this style. His mother, inanely, said he was grieving a friend and should not have been arrested. Wow. Is America one stoooopid place or what? (Sorry, Flagdrapers, where everything is perfect in America, but this place is astoundingly idiotic sometimes.)
2. We have all heard of strange names and here are a couple more. A nurse in a hospital has verified that she knew of one person who was named Abcde, and pronounced Ab'-c-de, with a hard e. She also knew of twins who were named Disjuan and Datjuan. Pause two three seconds till it sinks in.
3. We have begun referring to Mama Kenzie as "Meals On Heels".
4. A couple of weeks ago we were at the Wagon Wheel Flea Market and as we were leaving a woman was walking down the center area of the parking lot. An SUV was right behind her and finally honked so he could get around, but she just let out with some foul-language stuff and remained in the middle of the aisle. Then, as luck would have it I ran across this short essay by Blogger Bill, who I follow ocasionally as a person who sees, with clarity, the world around him.
"I’m a misogynist.
Or at least I’m going to preempt being called that by whomever of you is sure to take offense at this post by calling myself it first — even though I really am not.
But see, here’s the thing — there are certain things that only women do, and do for totally fucking inexplicable reasons, that men never, ever do that I simply do not for the life of me understand why they do these things.
And the one thing in particular that I’m talking about here is that they are the ONLY members of the species Homosapien to routinely and obliviously walk down the center of the fucking aisles in parking lots and refuse to get out of the way of oncoming cars.
OMG! If I have to honk at one more woman who’s strolling down the middle of the car aisle blocking traffic I’m gonna hit the gas and run her ass down instead.
And you never see men do this.
N.E.V.E.R.
Men walk to side of the aisle near the parked cars, thus enabling vehicular traffic to flow smoothly.
A.L.W.A.Y.S.
So today I was leaving the lot of the local Safeway and I’m driving down the aisle and ahead of me, walking toward me, is a group of four women with their carts and we’re at least two hundred feet from each other and they clearly see me coming and yet, as the distance closes. . . . . nothing.
They don’t make room. They don’t even fucking act like there’s a 3 ton truck headed their way and that maybe they need to move to one side or, god forbid. . . the other fucking side.
No, they just keep walking toward me until I have to come to a complete stop. And when I do I hold up my hands in a palms up “what the fuck, ladies” gesture only to be met with glares as if it were I who was somehow intruding upon a pedestrian footpath...
And this happens ALL THE TIME.
And guys never fucking behave this way in parking lots.
Even when we’re sloppy fucking drunk at sporting events you always see the guys getting the fuck over to the side while their wives/girlfriends/female sig-others stroll down the middle of the car aisle in the face of oncoming traffic."
5.
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"Federal law now caps the flash powder content of firecrackers at 50mg per firework. Typical M-80s contained somewhere in the neighborhood of 3,000mg of powder apiece, or roughly 60 times as much explosive. (This power makes sense given the M-80’s original purpose: simulating the sound of gunfire and artillery during military training."
We interchanged M-80's with Cherry Bombs. Either one was sufficient to not only make noise but to destroy things. Unfortunately there was collateral damage to frogs and chimney swifts, but overall, we weren't looking to kill, but blow things up. Model cars, ant hills, that sort of thing. And becasue they were waterproof they were great to toss in creeks, too. They also were used on Buster Board's guttering, which is one of the funniest stories EVER, but was, sadly, rather destructive. I'm not proud of our actions that one summer night, but wouldn't have missed it for anything.
We got them in Missouri and came in thin cardboard boxes. I wish I had a box today, but then I'd end up on Mugshot Monday. Before I forget, for a few years I was able to get those bombs you hear at fireworks. They were $25 each and I'd get four. They were unbelievable. Ordinary citizens can't get them now after 9/11.
12. I miss car shows. And my old cars.
13. I hope I live long enough to take care of #12.
14. I don't follow sensational murder trials. Seems we have them all the time. Down here, and across the nation everyone has been talking about the Anthony trial. Of course she is guilty. However, the jury had no evidence directly linking her so she was let go. What is that old axiom: better to let ten guilty people go free than to incarcerate one innocent person. That is the blessing and curse of the jury system.
15. At the midway point in baseball, I am in first place in 2 of 3 fantasy leagues. Boooya!
16. Who uses the expression Boooya?
17. Saw this big grasshopper on a screen down here. Pretty cool. They are different than the green ones up north, bigger and yellowish.
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Oh, and I see a kid in Texas was arrested and thrown off a plane because he wore his pants in this style. His mother, inanely, said he was grieving a friend and should not have been arrested. Wow. Is America one stoooopid place or what? (Sorry, Flagdrapers, where everything is perfect in America, but this place is astoundingly idiotic sometimes.)
2. We have all heard of strange names and here are a couple more. A nurse in a hospital has verified that she knew of one person who was named Abcde, and pronounced Ab'-c-de, with a hard e. She also knew of twins who were named Disjuan and Datjuan. Pause two three seconds till it sinks in.
3. We have begun referring to Mama Kenzie as "Meals On Heels".
4. A couple of weeks ago we were at the Wagon Wheel Flea Market and as we were leaving a woman was walking down the center area of the parking lot. An SUV was right behind her and finally honked so he could get around, but she just let out with some foul-language stuff and remained in the middle of the aisle. Then, as luck would have it I ran across this short essay by Blogger Bill, who I follow ocasionally as a person who sees, with clarity, the world around him.
"I’m a misogynist.
Or at least I’m going to preempt being called that by whomever of you is sure to take offense at this post by calling myself it first — even though I really am not.
But see, here’s the thing — there are certain things that only women do, and do for totally fucking inexplicable reasons, that men never, ever do that I simply do not for the life of me understand why they do these things.
And the one thing in particular that I’m talking about here is that they are the ONLY members of the species Homosapien to routinely and obliviously walk down the center of the fucking aisles in parking lots and refuse to get out of the way of oncoming cars.
OMG! If I have to honk at one more woman who’s strolling down the middle of the car aisle blocking traffic I’m gonna hit the gas and run her ass down instead.
And you never see men do this.
N.E.V.E.R.
Men walk to side of the aisle near the parked cars, thus enabling vehicular traffic to flow smoothly.
A.L.W.A.Y.S.
So today I was leaving the lot of the local Safeway and I’m driving down the aisle and ahead of me, walking toward me, is a group of four women with their carts and we’re at least two hundred feet from each other and they clearly see me coming and yet, as the distance closes. . . . . nothing.
They don’t make room. They don’t even fucking act like there’s a 3 ton truck headed their way and that maybe they need to move to one side or, god forbid. . . the other fucking side.
No, they just keep walking toward me until I have to come to a complete stop. And when I do I hold up my hands in a palms up “what the fuck, ladies” gesture only to be met with glares as if it were I who was somehow intruding upon a pedestrian footpath...
And this happens ALL THE TIME.
And guys never fucking behave this way in parking lots.
Even when we’re sloppy fucking drunk at sporting events you always see the guys getting the fuck over to the side while their wives/girlfriends/female sig-others stroll down the middle of the car aisle in the face of oncoming traffic."
5.
Wonder what this was/is. Saw it on the road at Shawshank.
7.
These ladies will, no doubt kill me for this unflattering picture. Regardless, it was taken next to a food vendor at the Flea Market. I'm guessing its not the kind of advertising you want in front of your food shop. Forgive me ladies, but the picture is just too good to consign to the waste bin.
8.
Alhanna was over the other day and asked to go play outside. Just to tease her I replied, "Sure, but watch out for the snakes." She tentatively opened the back door and said to me, "You mean like this one?" I got upout of the chair and walked over and there was a long black snake moseying across the rock just outside the doorway. Yikes! She decided to play inside. I welcomed the company. I am now checking ever so diligently whenever I open the door...just in case.
9. I'm so happy I have a twin like Mark. Love ya Bro. And the fact he's married to Holly makes it even better. Nice people. He'd do anything for me.
10. I like a good movie. My collection is sprinkled with recent ones, of course, but I have a lot of classics, too. My favorite drama has to be Schindler's List. Outsized ideas with outsized scenes. Spectacular movie. Now go see what is big (not necessarily successful) this summer and you'll find titles like Transformers, Green Lantern, Pirates On The Caribbean, Cars 2, and Bad Teacher, Zookeeper, Horrible Bosses, Captain America and the latest Harry Potter. Yes, these are all geared to kids and junior highers. The problem is that Hollywood is presently devoid of imagination, and going through a sequel and comic book phase. I didn't like comic books in my 1st decade, let alone my 5th. Summer is usually built for kids and stuff like the above, but if you accept the premise that January thru March releases are the spooky ones and films Hollywood deem to be bad, then that just leaves November and December when good adult films filter to the adult crowd. The rule of themb has been Jan-Mar is crap. April-July summer blockbusters re kids stuff, Aug-Oct is the so-so stuff too good for Januray, not splashy enough for summer and not good enough for the November-December prestige films. So, we get 2 good months out of 12? And Hollywood can't figure out how to get folks back to the cineplex. Just a cranky old guy who has no interest in bathroom humor low-comedy, sword battles, one-dimensional avenging heroes, or cartoons. Let me put it to you this way. Movies are to transport you to a place you've never been. If all the places you see is like a trip to the grocery store you travel every week, then the trip becomes uninteresting. Diatribe over.
11.
Kids these days don’t know what hazardous fireworks are…when we were kids fireworks were dangerous. I mean real dangerous, like the M80s we used to buy all the time. How dangerous were they?
"Federal law now caps the flash powder content of firecrackers at 50mg per firework. Typical M-80s contained somewhere in the neighborhood of 3,000mg of powder apiece, or roughly 60 times as much explosive. (This power makes sense given the M-80’s original purpose: simulating the sound of gunfire and artillery during military training."
We interchanged M-80's with Cherry Bombs. Either one was sufficient to not only make noise but to destroy things. Unfortunately there was collateral damage to frogs and chimney swifts, but overall, we weren't looking to kill, but blow things up. Model cars, ant hills, that sort of thing. And becasue they were waterproof they were great to toss in creeks, too. They also were used on Buster Board's guttering, which is one of the funniest stories EVER, but was, sadly, rather destructive. I'm not proud of our actions that one summer night, but wouldn't have missed it for anything.
We got them in Missouri and came in thin cardboard boxes. I wish I had a box today, but then I'd end up on Mugshot Monday. Before I forget, for a few years I was able to get those bombs you hear at fireworks. They were $25 each and I'd get four. They were unbelievable. Ordinary citizens can't get them now after 9/11.
12. I miss car shows. And my old cars.
13. I hope I live long enough to take care of #12.
14. I don't follow sensational murder trials. Seems we have them all the time. Down here, and across the nation everyone has been talking about the Anthony trial. Of course she is guilty. However, the jury had no evidence directly linking her so she was let go. What is that old axiom: better to let ten guilty people go free than to incarcerate one innocent person. That is the blessing and curse of the jury system.
15. At the midway point in baseball, I am in first place in 2 of 3 fantasy leagues. Boooya!
16. Who uses the expression Boooya?
17. Saw this big grasshopper on a screen down here. Pretty cool. They are different than the green ones up north, bigger and yellowish.
18. And finally, a good ole Bloody Mary I had the other day. Great on a hot day contemplating a little bike riding and and perhaps a cigar up North in a day or two, if not already.
19. BUT THAT CAN'T COME CLOSE TO THE GREATEST GOLD BULLION FOR THE PALATTE ON EARTH:
Homemade ice cream that I had last week.
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