Skip to main content

My Pitching Career Might Be Over




Since July I have been feeling a twinge and mild soreness in my arm.  It has grown more annoying with time, and most recently has affected my sleep, and, given certain movements, the pain has been like what I imagine childbirth to be.  When I twist or move the arm a certain way pain erupts but doesn't go away when I move out of the offending position, it stays and burns for another minute or two.  If I'm playing with Norah, the poor thing, she just waits until "Papa" is done moaning and writhing, then we resume whatever raucous activity we are engaged.

I'm not sure what caused the injury.  I don't recall falling off a ladder (wink, wink),  pitching a baseball 98 miles per hour or any swinging trapeze moves which would have certainly caused a strain.  I have nothing else to blame it on so I guess those thumb lifts I gave Norah was the culprit.  

 It has been particularly galling because, well, I've never had anything wrong with me.  I had a benign cyst removed from my back in the early 80's for mostly cosmetic reasons and besides that and those two vasectomies, never been under the knife, and never spent a night in a hospital.  I am a marvel of modern medicine,  good genes and sheer dumb luck.  Even when I fell off the roof of the two-story house on Grove Street I just looked to see if anyone witnessed it and hobbled back in the house. Last month I went to see my Doc for a sinus infection and to an ENT guy to replace the tube that fell out of my ear.  I'm pretty well fed up with physical problems right now.  I'm starting to feel like a little old woman with appointments all month just so she can see her friends. 


Yep, that's me.  
My primary Physician, Dr. Fatfingers,  suspected rotator cuff inflammation and sent me to an orthopedic specialist.  Some place called All-Florida Orthopaedic Center.  I don't like places that get all fancy with the spelling.  Is it an "a"  or is it an "e", it can't be both.   It's a rather big place and the waiting room reminded me of The Walking Dead.  Everyone here seemingly had some kind of obvious external problem.  Arms in casts, legs in casts, people in wheel chairs and limbs in slings.  Goodness, I felt like limping to the reception desk just to fit in.   

So today (yesterday) I go and try a little humor on Danielle who was asking me questions about my symptoms and taking my blood pressure.  She seemed humorless to my witticisms as she couldn't stop gazing at her computer screen.  Then Heather comes from the X-Ray room and she, too, seems a bit bereft of my charms this Monday morning in paradise.  At least she grunted with one of my jokes which is more than Danielle did.  Finally, in walks a dapper older gent, a Dr. Gnage, who keeps looking at my embroidered shirt logo as I'm explaining my pain.  I am wearing a pretty new Iowa Wesleyan College polo shirt just in case my hick humor denotes some uneducated rube is in their midst.  Must not have worked.  I guess he thought anyone can buy college clothes.  He, too, seemed to be more intent on the computer and x-ray rather than be an audience for my stand-up routine.  

 I decided to get serious and told him it has hurt for about 4-5 months because I thought it would go away.  He looked up and said, "Well, I guess it didn't, did it?"  Joke time was over.  The good news is it is not torn, but seemingly inflamed.  I'm not sure how something can be inflamed for 5 months, but then, I'm just a guy who throws on a college-logoed shirt for credibility.     

Anyway, I received a rather uncomfortable cortisone shot in the shoulder with instructions to return on the 16th and answer my phone when the therapy department calls.  Apparently it will be a long recuperation according to Dr. Fatfingers, Jeff Sutor of BFE Wataga who had a torn rotator, and my dapper little guy, Dr. Unpronounceable by BFE tongues.
WHAT I CAN'T DO:

  • Headstands
  • Put my wallet in my rear right pocket
  • Flagellate my back (I can flagellate elsewhere, however)
  • Easily loop my belt on the right side
  • Reach for anything in the upper kitchen cabinets with my right hand
  • I can still drink a beer with you but I can't flip it underhand behind my back when finished
  • Put Norah in or out of the car seat
  • Comb the right side of my head
  • Take an oath

The notice of instructions from the doctor's office said after the shot my arm may be sore for the next two days.  That's why I'm writing this at 2:36 am.  I'm hurting and it may be a long night.  The Doc asked if I needed any pain pills but I told him I was tough.  Bad choice.  I look forward to the progress of my recuperation and will inform you if anything dramatic happens.  That reminds me, I saw a sign at a church on my way back to Shawshank that read, "Pray Until Something Happens".  Weird, huh?  I won't pray, but I will try to milk avoiding carseat activities for Norah since no one likes to do it. And oh, after I'm done here, I'm going to start writing some new material for the 16th.  Maybe even pick up a Harvard alumni shirt, too.



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Flashback Friday

Class, Or Lack Thereof The Dwight Vice gravestone in Oquawka, Illinois. I bring this old chestnut out every so often just to remind me that class is classless.  Dwight Vice was killed in his home near Oquawka in 2001.  It was one of those things that can generate crime:  two guys thought Dwight had a lot of money stashed at home because of his pot-selling sideline to supplement his fishing job.   Not really one of those big drug deals gone-bad things.  Marijuana was, according to the trial, about the only stuff Dwight sold.   But these two guys barge into the house and killed Dwight and attempted to kill his 11 year old kid, Darryl, before they took off with what money they could find.   His son, now 23, was stabbed in the back and left for dead.  He survived and is wheelchair bound and has undergone several surgeries to repair his wounds.  He will be paralyzed for life.   None of this is pleasant.  Reading the facts of the murder and attempted murder are most unpleasant
Post a Comment
Read more

Summer Swim

It's Monday and the start of another work week.  Except for me.  I have the week off because the parents of my daycare charges are taking the week off, too. This is one of those wordless posts I love on Mondays so I can put my laziness in full view of loyal readers.  These pics need no words.  Why muddy the waters?   They were taken at the pool at Sinkhole Estates aka Death Valley.  The nice thing about this pool is it is heated in winter.  If one must find positives in one's situation, I suppose that is one.  But, please, no more.   
Post a Comment
Read more

Florida Air Museum - Part 3

Welcome back to a pretty neat tour of the Florida Air Museum in Lakeland Florida.  There's a lot to see and a couple of the old Geezer Gold Wing guys are already sitting down instead of walking around looking at the exhibits. That's John who is wore out and making a call to his wife.  In all honesty, John was pretty well bushed before the ride.  He told me his daughter's family was down from one of the Carolina's with the grand kids and he must have played with them too much.   He's about to take off on his own and head for home, but he's going to miss a couple of neat things out on Hangar A.   But, before we walk over there, we have lots yet to see here.  If you saw The Aviator with Leonardo DiCaprio playing Howard Hughes, you'll remember that he went up in a plane during the filming of one of his movies to prove a point about flying.  He crashed trying to execute a roll and this is a picture of the plane he crashed.  Note the propeller
1 comment
Read more