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Flashback Friday

Today's post concerns a tombstone found at Bonaventure Cemetery in Savannah when we visited the Sutors last May.  This is posted on the same day Mr. Sutor has written about the same subject on his blog Bodine-DILLIGAF.  So, when done here wander over to his blog and read his.   Jeff is a far better writer than me, so I'm sure you will enjoy his entry immensely.  The link to his blog is listed on the right side of this page. 





Theodore Prendergast only lived seven years but he has made an impression on folks for generations.  Amongst the thousands (5,800 interments in the old section) of graves and stones at Bonaventure Cemetery in Savannah, most with ornate Victorian imagery,  sits a heartbreaking angel holding and pointing to a written stone which reads, "Papa's Sweetheart".  Underneath sits a carved rolled paper which says "Our Darling Boy."  And underneath it all the usual birth and death dates: February 25, 1992 - May 9, 1909. 

Unlike some of the famous and notable burials at Bonaventure, I wasn't able to find anything about Teddy and his life, family or unfortunate passing at a young age.   Perhaps that as it should be.  His life and time was linked with his parents and particularly, it would seem with his father.  His life was not linked to us, the strangers passing by who stop, stare, and then shuffle on to the next eye-catching stone edifice.  We will never know the story that played out when it came to making arrangements for the stone.  Why was Teddy special to Papa rather than Momma, or both?  Was Momma already gone?  If there were graves for his folks, I didn't see them.  How did Teddy die? 

The only thing readily evident to us is why Papa so loved him.  We all know how that happens, don't we.  The first smile, the first time he uttered "Papa", and the first time one of them grabbed for the other's hand.  The joking, the hugs, the puffed chest of a proud father exhibiting his boy in public.  Love isn't a cascade, it' a trickle of small happenings that grow on the heart until there is nothing else that heart can beat for.  It is an inexpressible longing when absent, and a security when they are together.

Teddy probably wasn't anything other than any other kid.  Thinking only of today, that's what he ended up with.  Very little tomorrows, just today.  And for those few days, he seemed to have spent them winning his father's heart, so much that Papa had it carved in stone for posterity, "Papa's Sweetheart."

I think Teddy serves as a kind of beacon, an  unknown son, if you will, for the bond between Spring and Offspring and the totally monumental shift in their lives when they lose each other.  Teddy and his parents' anguish has been silent and assuaged for over a hundred years, but that stone, that plea from Papa that this boy was special to him continues to point to some universal truths.

  • Love never dies.  The generals and idiots who would kill us, separate us and end our time together may win the day, but people's love for each other lasts for eternity.   
  • Love has a price.  When a child is born a parent doubles their happiness as well as their sorrow .If you are lucky enough to have more happiness than sorrow, then you are rich.
  • Love is the only real commodity worth hoarding.  Everything else is just glittery bauble.  
Teddy is my child and yours.  Papa is every father who felt the pangs of letting go.  The separation and the indestructible bond.  This place, this stone,  this grave marks for us all that we are and all that we have.  It's a memorial to ourselves and our ultimate fate.  
   
Teddy and Papa only had seven years, but you have a lifetime; tell your children and loved ones how you feel.  Don't be embarrassed, its OK, real men express their feelings freely and without reservation.  That lonely stone that sits atop Theodore Prendergast, age 7, is as timely today as it was when it was carved 105 years ago.  It doesn't whisper among the moss and stately oaks in this city of the dead, it shouts.  It screams to us all.

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