Tuesday Tidbits

Happy Tuesday from Sunny Kitschland.  As we head into the final week of April, and the final week before this blog takes a few days off for Spring Break (white sandy beaches of Daytona, hot co-eds, beer by the barrels, gettin' lit and lighten' up!) 

Oh, wait.  I'm being told that was last month.  Well, I guess Northlandia will have to do, then.

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What's this?  The Wombies are moving?  

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I have been referring to Fox News as state-run.  With Hannity directing trump on tweets and policy, I had no idea just how right I was.  trump gets his marching orders from the Fox team.  And that may be good news or bad, depending on, well, no, its bad news anyway you look at it. 

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Whizbang Week 2

It has earned another week, but barely.  

Alfred with Whizbang.  

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Spring is here finally?

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Last Friday I got up early but didn't do my usual 3 mile walk.  Just as well.  When I let Whizbang out I noticed flashing red and blue lights across the back yard fence.  Turns out there was a murder in the apartment complex next door.  The perpetrator has not been arrested as of this writing on Sunday morning.  That's one way to get out of this god-forsaken state.

http://www.baynews9.com/fl/tampa/news/2018/04/21/32-year-old-man-fatally-shot-at-an-apartment-complex-in-clearwater

(copy and paste in your browser)

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Ever feel like that poor sonavabitch trying to keep up?  Me too.

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I had my annual check-up with Dr. Ballsack last Wednesday.  After reading off all those numbers that doctors are fond of, and finding all mine are excellent, I asked if I could tell my friends I was 54 years old?  He said, "Sure.  You can tell them anything you want.  But you don't have any friends."  (How did he know?)

During the finger/prostate exam he dug in a bit and even wrapped his free hand around my leg.  Afterwards I said, "Gee, Doctor, you kind of gave me a hug there."  He said, "Well, what with the number of years we've been together..."

I don't know if he's any good or not, but he's funny and I like him.  Next year maybe he'll give me flowers.  

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Barbara Bush seemed to me to be a decent lady.  Funny, loyal to her family, well spoken and, at times, forward thinking.  She was a far cry from many "sit there and look pretty" First Ladies of the past.  She was worthy of our admiration.

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Miss the Cabin in the Woods?  So do I.

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As I peruse the standing on Sunday morning, I see the Mets in first with a record of 14-6.  Oh, and I see the cards in first with 12-8.  And, as I scroll my finger down, down the list, ah! the Cubs at 9-9.  Well that explains all the lack of Cubs posts on Facebook. 

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Another rant against McDonald's.

It may just be this one, or it may be city vs. small town McDonald's but I am about to swear it off.  Our latest visit on Saturday was less than ideal when we had to tell a kid what we wanted while standing next to a kiosk.  So he is waiting for us to tell him what we wanted, then he pushes buttons on this tall panel, then pay, then find a seat that is filthy and then start eating over done fries and a microwaved cardboard hamburger.  With all the other choices why do we go to this place?  Answer: kids want Happy Meals. 

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Dicks among us:  Derek Jeter, Scott Pruitt, BasharAl-Assad, Putin, anyone who thinks they speak for "the American people", puppies who are not housetrained, trump, old man winter, time, Wells Fargo, Matt Harvey, prolly a Clinton, Zuckerberg, prolly Comey and certainly Hannity.  We don't lack for Dicks. 

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New sign in front of the Allegiant Airlines terminal here in Clearwater.  After the 60 minutes expose and the running Tampa Bay Times investigative reporting series of last year, Allegiant is scrambling to make sure their planes - the cans that fly me home - have all their nuts and bolts.  Me?  Nah, I don't worry.  I'm a hundred percent certain they will land.  

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Hey Danny!  See that sign above?  It's for you know what. 

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Tough driving last week on Roosevelt Boulevard.

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And one of my faves.  In fact, if I could I'd have lunch with this guy and Helen Keller.  I can't think of more illuminating dead people to spend time with. 

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Marj - the Grammar Police Alert!

We couldn't get by with any grammatical mistakes growing up.  Marj fancied herself the guardian of correct and proper English.  She would have been spitting lightening bolts and some of the ways people use or misuse the language. 

And finally, why O why, O Lord do people start a sentence with the word "So"?  So is a conjunction and adverb that joins words or phrases.  To start a sentence with "so" is like packing heat with no bullets, or having one testicle.  It still kind of works as a concept but its "so" short on right.