1. Do almost no homework - why clutter an uncluttered mind?
2. Drink and guzzle beer starting 6 hours prior to draft. This gives you an excuse for picking a lousy team.
3. Take your fantasy football magazine - cause you never know when some writer's ideas 4 months ago might come in handy.
4. Always pause an extra few seconds to announce your pick - others will think you are thoughtful, when actually you trying to force back that nasty burrito you ate with onions.
5. No matter how dumb you think your pick was, there is always someone else who is dumber.
6. Tell Focker he is a pussy for wearing his Phillies baseball jersey at a football draft
7. Ask Gullstrand if he is losing weight...his expression will be priceless.
8. Do not, I repeat, do not look at your team for at least a week - better to brace yourself for the crap job you did.
Thanks again Stewart.
wWell, the news is in from the County of Keck, I drafted your team, saying, "what the heck."
ReplyDeleteI followed yer thoughts,
and followed my list,
drank too much beer,
then took a big _ _ _ _,
And in the end
I really must say
I gave you such crap
I'm in such dismay
But hopefully then
Your left in such arrears
You'll draft your own team
Come this time next year.