Summer Swim

Why I Stopped Journaling

Sometime over a decade ago I decided to open a Blogger account and start a website that would let my family know what was going on with me, they in Florida and Iraq, and me in Illinois.  It was an innocuous collection of thoughts and photos - insanely shallow and forgettable.  Motorcycle ride pics, garage party pics, maybe some silly text that would let my family, and a growing number of friends see what I was up to.  It grew through the years to a kind of formal daily ritual complete with editorial essays, and frothy pronouncements ranging from housecleaning tips to world events.  

This last November or thereabouts I stopped, except for a few comments - let's call them cadaverous twitches.  For the past year I focused, rightly or wrongly on an election I deemed essential to our future.  I guess after all these years I finally found my flag-waving patriotism.  

It seemed all the more important, to me anyway, to use my blog to alert the masses to the danger of trumpism.  Little did I know that most of my friends, acquaintances and other VIP's in my life were not only into trumpism but some, it seemed were leading the parade.  How could I have misjudged so badly?  How could there be such a chasm between what I thought was a nation in peril with those who not only didn't see the peril but reveled in the denigration of our institutions and American values?  A leader, Dear Leader, who ignored a pandemic, cuddled up to Putin, put down our allies and played golf while hundreds of thousands of Americans died.  How could this nation separate families as a warning to others?  How could this nation ignore Puerto Rico, fellow Americans after a hurricane?

The only way to adequately explain is to write it off as temporary insanity, cultism, or party allegiance on steroids.  How else to explain military people voting for someone who called them loser and suckers. 

The beginning of the end of this blog was when I received a late night text from one of my oldest friends who stopped reading my blog a long time ago for its political content.  They found the icon on her computer desktop and checked in to see what was new.  They were so appalled, the text read something like don't make contact, I am too upset to deal with you.  And I haven't heard from them since.

Another nail was when I was discussing politics with a cherished friend and they called me naive.  They said they knew all about Trump and what was going on but, dang it, Hillary and Nancy Pelosi were just too much to stomach.  Best to my knowledge they don't run the levers of government: one not at all, the other minimally.  I also heard that argument from my next door neighbor, Stan, who claimed Hillary and Nancy were the biggest evils of the world and today, even after almost 2 months is still flying his Trump flag.

The final nail came from another valued and cherished friend who started texting me comments with almost each blog.  Never mind they never commented before or used the comment section;  now I was getting harrassing texts on a daily basis. 

 I will always be bewildered and perplexed by your descent into madness.  And, if you liked the 126 Congressman who signed onto the amicus bill to undo the election results in the four battleground states, your attempted coup de etat.  Imagine, a coup int this country orchestrated by the President.  

I loved you all, but I can't help a certain rot has set in.  Oh sure, we can do the small talk stuff and sit and have a beer kind of thing.  We can do the roadtrips and talk about baseball, weather and the myriad subjects we discuss, but I don't know how I can ever wipe clean the knowledge that you all supported authoritarian rule, endless lies, and the most corrupt bunch of morons ever to congregate in the White House.  I even saw a meme about how Melania was the classiest First lady ever.  She who wore the coat to the Mexican border where kids were held in cages exclaiming "I don't care, do you?"  She with the Christmas wishes, "Fuck Christmas", and the nude photo spread in that European mag and refreshed in the New York Post. 

So, guys, go ahead and burn it down. Be on the alert for the boogie men/women that threaten your prejudices, biases, and Fox-fueled insanity.  Just don't wait for me to join in, listen or reach out - my New Year's resolution is to avoid idiots as much as possible.  You did this, not me.