Skip to main content

My Lucky Day






Those who have been around this website for a while know I walk a lot down here.  Who the Hell wants to drive in this mess?  And while walking I'll ease over to keep a watchful eye in the curb looking for a coinage dropped from cars or pedestrians.  Surprisingly there is a lot of it.  Norah found a penny just this last weekend in Tarpon Springs as she was exiting the Fun Bus.

 I still believe there is a treasure out there.  Not a pirate's booty on the beach, but rather a wad of twenties tossed from a drug dealer's car when approached by a cop.  No, I don't watch much TV - this one I hatched all by myself.  

 It finally happened.  As Whizzbang and I were walking by Murder By the Bay apartment complex, I glanced down and spotted a wadded up bill.  My heart went pitter-patter.  A grown man should never use that phrase but, what the Hell, I'm a millionaire, so who cares?  As I bent down to retrieve it I started imagining all the things I could buy with a wad of drug money.  Sadly, it was just a single bill, but what a bill!!  It was a million dollar bill.    





If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, right?  Except this bill had President Obama on it, and he is alive.  I figured we still had a dead presidents thing going on with our money so I knew I was had.  I scanned them so you would know how easily it was to scam me.  





But this no ordinary fake currency.  It had a message on it, like a bottle.  What wisdom would it be?  What sage remark would a former owner impart on its latest?  Information can move mountains.  What mountain could I move after this message?

 I sucked dick for this money!  Save a life and suck dick!"  

 Obviously I was crushed.  My quest for curbside loot was not only not over, but I had been brought to the brink of the holy grail only to be that true riches come from sucking dick.  I continued my walk with Whizzbang.  No richer.  No wiser.  Incidentally, if you start counting up from zero, your lips don’t touch until 1 million.  It's true.  Try it.

So, how do I get rid of this bill and make a profit?   Hmmm.  Maybe I'll make a bet with the Wombie.  If I win, good.  I get his real dollar.  If I lose I'll slip him 'ole Barack and he'll never notice.  Win-win.

Guess I'll just put it in my billfold until I see him.

   

What could possibly go wrong?

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Flashback Friday

Class, Or Lack Thereof The Dwight Vice gravestone in Oquawka, Illinois. I bring this old chestnut out every so often just to remind me that class is classless.  Dwight Vice was killed in his home near Oquawka in 2001.  It was one of those things that can generate crime:  two guys thought Dwight had a lot of money stashed at home because of his pot-selling sideline to supplement his fishing job.   Not really one of those big drug deals gone-bad things.  Marijuana was, according to the trial, about the only stuff Dwight sold.   But these two guys barge into the house and killed Dwight and attempted to kill his 11 year old kid, Darryl, before they took off with what money they could find.   His son, now 23, was stabbed in the back and left for dead.  He survived and is wheelchair bound and has undergone several surgeries to repair his wounds.  He will be paralyzed for life.   None of this is pleasant.  Reading the f...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Mary Davis Home - Part 2

None of these pictures were taken by me,  they came right from the MDH website.  I am posting these so that friends who have never seen inside where I worked can gain access.  After 27 years I have many stories, tales and acquaintances.  But, I wouldn't know how to express them appropriately in a few paragraphs.  I enjoyed 98% of my stay there and hope I made a difference in the lives of a fraction of the kids who entered.  The original MDH at this site was just the front part.  The large red-roofed area in back was added on in the 90's. This is the Jerry Carlton library.  It was unofficially named after one of the counselors who truly loved the place.   He passed away around 2002, I think.  Mr. Farber looks like he is explaining a few things to a client. The classroom. Activity area with the gym behind the windows. Another shot of the classroom. It was a little different area to teach since we had 2 classes and 2 teachers i...
Post a Comment
Read more

Tuesday Tidbits On Wednesday

This week I will be heading up to the Cabin in the Woods.  I think I have come up with a long list of things to do and take care of.  As is usually the case, however, it won't take long till I miss the girls. It's kind of a Stockholm Syndrome in reverse, or circle.  My primary concern is Alfred and her substitute situation for the next few weeks before I head back for a Dr.'s appointment and do a little sitting to help Kenzie out.   But I suppose we'll all adjust and do nicely.  On my part I am looking forward to no diapers and some rec time.   ++++++++++ This is me when I am heading up to the Cabin In The Woods. ++++++++++ Oh yeah. ++++++++++ Poor Alfred.  It'll get easier, I swear. ++++++++++   One of my dreams is to find something like this or an old car tucked away in a barn somewhere.  That is the closest corollary we have nowadays for finding a buried treasure....
2 comments
Read more